Sometimes I spice up my love life by getting my girlfriend to wear a long black nightgown with buttons on it. Makes her look just like a remote control.

Did you hear about the unreleased Western starring Bruce Lee? He played Squint Eastwood.

Ever wonder why they never show the film ALIVE in-flight?…… It’s not because of the film’s content it’s because the people in the film are eating better than the people on board.

Two fish were in a tank. One said “You man the guns and i’ll drive!”

What’s the difference between a green elephant and a purple one? One of them is purple

Girls like bad boys, so why can’t I get a girlfriend? I’m bad at literally everything. (If you came here expecting a joke, I’m sorry, the joke is my life)

What do you call a broken fisherman’s calculator. Something fishy that doesn’t quite add up.

A naked Jew with an erection running at full speed hits a wall He breaks his nose.

My father is Hungarian and my mother is Welsh That makes me well hung….

My favourite drivers are the designated ones.