I keep getting emails about penis enlargement. The ones from my wife are starting to get personal, but it’s the ones from my mother that really hurt.

All this time I thought Bipolar was a big white bear with no sexual preference.

What do you call a black man selling drugs? A pharmacist, you racist.

I have laughed at THOUSANDS of jokes where I couldn’t understand what the person is saying.

Why did Richard leave his home this morning? For Harambe.

If Batman and Catwoman had a kid it would be called Batcat; or the more unfortunate ManWoman.

What’s the difference between a cow and Super Mario Bros? A cow can’t be milked for over 30 years

Why don’t blind people skydive? It scares the fuck out of the dogs.

She’s so dumb, She thinks a double helix is two gay guys doing 69.

Michelle Obama & Melania Trump meeting: *shaking hands* Michelle: Hi, I’m Michelle. Melania: Hi, I’m Michelle.