Communist jokes are not funny… unless everyone gets them

I crossed the road, walked into a bar and changed a light bulb Then I realized my life is a joke…

Chicken and an egg are lying in bed together Chicken looks at the egg and says “Well that answered the question!”

your laughing style Hehehe hahaaha ahahaha ohahahooo ehahahee

The human body is 70% water and 30% land

Why are hemorrhoid and diarrhea so hard to spell? Like if you’re talking about them, you aren’t having a rough enough time already.

So I ordered a pizza I ordered a funghi pizza yesterday but I was pretty disappointed.. They obviously have mushroom for improvement

If you are American when you go into the bathroom and American when you leave, what are you when are using the bathroom? European

wife: you’re listening to too much theatrical heavy metal Me: behold! The weaver of lies! A dark seamstress of shadows lurks amongst us

I’m gonna be so pissed if I die in the middle of an argument I’m about to win.