What’s the difference between God and a medical school graduate? God doesn’t think he’s a doctor.

Nicholas Cage was only good in FaceOff because he was played by John Travolta.

BEST ADVICE: Stick to One-Night-Stands, The biggest cause of marriage is dating.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To move out of range of North Korea’s long ranged missiles.

What do you tell a slow tomato? …what? Ketchup

Iraq has just ordered two thousand septic tanks from Russia. As soon as the Iraqis learn to drive them they are going to invade Iran.

What is John Lennon’s favourite donut? Strawberry Filled forever!

And as they were eating, Jesus took content and linked to it, giving it to his disciples, and said, ‘Take, eat; this is my brand’

Today is national pet day. There is no touching of people in national pet day. I know this now.

A man entered a pun contest and submitted 10 puns, hoping at least one would win… No pun in ten did.