What only lasts 40 seconds for men and leaves them hot and sweaty? A bowl of Ramen Noodles

Did you hear about the skeleton that couldn’t go to the party? He had no body to go with!

What happened to the embarrassed bungalow on the street of two story houses? It got stares.

Why does God like Swiss cheese? It’s holey! ^^^^^get it?

I queued up for ages to get cod earlier… …but they sold out, so I got a battered sausage instead.

I filmed myself having sex in 4K I can’t wait to upload all 2 megabytes of footage!

Did you hear about the skeleton that couldn’t go to the party? He had no body to go with.

Google News now awards “Badges” for viewing stories. Also, remember: if you manage to finish one novel without pictures,…you get ice cream!

Some people are like 5yr olds, they shake heads in agreement, but you KNOW by the look in their eyes, they have no clue what you just said.

What’s the difference between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump ? One’s a dumb and the other is dumber