Teacher My teacher pointed to me with the ruler and said “There is an idiot at the end of the ruler” I got suspended for asking which end! 😛

You know what I love about world history? … It’s a long story

I gave my girlfriend a picture of me for her birthday It was a gif.

I shot two camera lenses out of two cannons into each other at high speed… …I wanted to make a kaleidoscope

Every tweet has 140 characters and if some of you learned the difference between it’s and its you’d have one to spare.

This is how I tell if someone is paying attention. You were not 😀

I told my friends I had a date with a really attractive girl… they told me she was imaginary, but the jokes on them, because they are too.

I have emo shoes. They have tortured soles.

What’s Hitler’s favorite video game. Meinkraft

Lifting the toilet seat AND putting it back down are 2 steps. If women really want equality, they’re going to have to take on a step here.