What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his butt.

Who is the 0.666 humorist here? [META]

Have you heard the joke about recursion?

I think the government looks at Twitter and thinks ‘This is WAY cheaper than Asylums’

My friend took a whole bottle of chill pills and chilled himself

Being a Miami Heat fan is like high fiving Starbucks employees while the locally owned coffee shop across the street boards up its doors.

How do you get a gay guy to have sex with a woman? (NSFW) Shit in her cunt

A long time ago a friend of mine called me conceited, but after all these years I’ve found out that I’m just one swell guy.

Roses are red, Violets are blue… Pornhub is down, your facebook will do ( )

Obama is a cashier and you give him a $10 bill for a $9.97 item. What do you say to him? Keep the change it doesn’t really make a difference.