My dog said “woof” so I said “woof” & now I’m afraid of what I may have agreed to.

What happens when Batman sees Catwoman naked? The Dark Knight Rises.

What did the elephant say to the famous detective ? It’s ele-mentary my dear Sherlock !

if my mother-in-law was an actress, she’d be the star of The Cunt for Red October.

Why does a Belgian take a stone and a flashlight to bed? The stone to throw the lights out, the flashlight to check if the lights are really out

A married couple were fighting… …when they drove past a farm full of pigs. The husband then asked his wife, “Family of yours?” The wife looked at the pigs, then replied, “Yea, in-laws.”

Why do I hear noises? (Teacher) “With all this talking I assume you are done with your work” (Student) “And with all this complaining I assume you’re single”

I got sent out of class today at school. The teacher yelled at me, “What would your parents say if I called them?’ I replied, “Hello?”

I would never let my kids watch the orchestra, too much sax and violins.

Who has a higher recycling rate than a recycling plant? r/Jokes