I’m modest, so when it comes to sex I don’t like to toot my own horn

Yo Momma is so ugly that she scares blind people!!!!

When my friends come over they know to ask “may I sit here” and then we look at my dog to see if it’s OK

Tried to be sly and shove the whole cookie in my mouth without him seeing me. Then he turned around and asked me a question.

Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

“I’m too sexy for my mom.” – Right Said Freud

What do you call a spider that wants to overthrow the government? An anarchid.

Why are hurricanes named after women? Because they come wet and wild and they leave with your house and your car

how many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? ten tickles

What’s the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa stops at three Hos.