When does it Rain Money? When there’s a change in the weather.

Kadala of Diablo 3

I changed my wifi name to “14.4k dial up connection” so no one would bother stealing my signal.

Have you heard the rumor going around about butter? Never mind. I shouldn’t spread it.

I once dated a girl who got in a car accident and lost her whole left side. Shes all right now.

Two blondes are in geography class together… One asks the other “Which is closer, London or the moon” The other replies “The moon, obviously, can you see London?”

Whats the difference between a woman and a plate? You can lick a plate dry

Girl, if you got any hotter you’d be so earth-shatteringly hot the ground would split & we’d burn to death in molten lava. That would suck.

What do you call a group of 8 hobbits? a hobbyte Cortana told me that joke

Someone accused me of spending too much time on the Internet. I don’t know what to say. I am so full of emoticons right now.