I like my women like I like my dragons… Jealous, naked, and atop a bunch of gold.

what is a calculators favorite food? pi!

Jerk chicken is just regular chicken that didn’t let it’s daughter go to prom

Yes officer I know it seems like a lot for personal use.

My wife said she wants to be treated like gold on her birthday. Apparently, locking her in the safe wasn’t what she had in mind.

Keep your daughters away from Olympic Track and Field events: Doctor’s orders.

67% of Canadians say that their favourite colour is flannel

“I need to do extensive reading on this complex subject before I give an educated opinion.” — Web comment that has never been made

I guess anywhere they have that Zika virus… …is a good place to go to get a little head.

Mary had a little lamb, until she learned about lamb chops.