Recent studies have shown that 6 out of 7 dwarves aren’t Happy

What is a Minnesotan’s favorite state to vacation in? It’s Alaska, don’Juneau.

Profanity is unnecessary and fucking stupid.

I’m celebrating 200 years of the buffalo. It’s the bison-tennial!

Armageddon… …tired of all these Rapture jokes.

Imo everyone should consider organ donation Ahhh actually I’ve had a change of heart

In Russia, Vladimir Putin has said that the killers of Nemtsov “will be ruthlessly hunted down.” He added, “It’s cheaper than paying them”

What do you call a fake noodle? …*dramatic pause*… An imPASTA!

Just heard on the news about the 1993 luggage murder. Apparently the police are reopening the case

Someone stole a kitchen utensil from my house He said it was a whisk worth taking