First, there was planking, then owling and milking, now there’s Harlem Shaking. If the next trend could be thinking, that would be great.

I can tell if someone’s uncomfortable around me just by staring at them for 3 hours.

Are you a Lawyer? … cause you’re giving me the bar

Smart-phones… The best thing to happen to sh1tting since the newspaper.

Where do sick boats go to? The dock.

Two old men are walking through a park… “Nice out, isn’t it?” “Yes, I think I’ll get mine out too.”

Someone told me Canada had no territories… I was having Nunavut.

Why is the space between a women’s tits and hips called a waist? They could easily fit another set of tits in there.

New egg is so Corny (Have they always done this) http://oi61.tinypic.com/33kak2a.jpg

Look at you, putting your bag of popcorn into a bowl like the Queen of England.