I went to the doctor’s office the other day And he told me, “you’ve got to stop masturbating so furiously.” I responded, “why, doc?” He angrily responded, “because, I’m TRYING to examine you.”

coding humor 1 +1 ___ =10

I put Red Bull in the hummingbird feeder. I’m pretty sure I just saw one go back in time…

My dentist offered to give me dentures for only a dollar. It sounded like a good deal at the time, but now I have buck teeth.

What kind of grass do cows like most? It’s a moot point!

So a police officer is called out to the scene where a Mercedes is wrapped around a tree, He said “Well, I guess that’s the way the Mercedes Benz”

Why don’t Mexicans cross the border in groups? Because the border says “No TRESpassing”

So I bought a fragrant candle the other day, but when I lit it nothing happened… It just didn’t make scents.

[g/friends dad] “who in your opinion is the greatest football player of all time?” Me – [say a real name say a real name] “Football Man”

What’s the difference between a Bull Dyke and a Bull Elephant? …about 100lbs and a flannel shirt