What is red… And smells like green paint? Red paint! Whats green, and smells like red paint? Green paint 🙂 Can’t believe how many time I switch to the second, and they don’t get it!

Who needs a girlfriend when I have my right hand….. To make me sandwiches 🙂

Attidude Redefined for love: I can always take care of my self… But still, i want the person who can prove to me that i can’t…

Don’t be that guy that goes around saying “Don’t Be That Guy.”

Don’t you hate it, when you offer someone help and the other person says yes

How do Japanese people refer to American politicians? Parti-san

I went to a zoo yesterday… but they only had one dog! it was a shitzu (shit zoo)

movies never show the part in the ending where the hero drives into the sunset and has to pull down the visor

Scientists Have Captured the Sound One Atom Makes and what did the atom say? “Does it really matter we make up everything.”

A vulture is boarding a plane with a dead raccoon under each wing, when the gate attendant stops him and says, “I’m sorry, sir…” “…but you’re only allowed *one* carrion.”