What concert cost 45 cents? 50 cent featuring Nickleback.

Did you hear about the guy that invented the door knocker? He won the “Nobell” prize.

Why can’t a chicken wear underwear? Because his pecker is on his face.

Did you hear about the dog-walker that went missing? Police say they are following a few leads.

“Bitches ain’t shit” – Saint Valentine’s last words.

One venti cheeseburger please.

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic and a dyslexic? You get someone who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question of whether or not there’s a dog.

this is my cheat life i’ll worry about carbs and a workout plan next reincarnation

Jose Mourinhio The Special One……. David Moyes The Chosen One….. Fellipe Scholari Seven One.

I don’t understand why Christians don’t like gay people After all, Jesus was a famous cross-dresser.