“Despite my best efforts, my hot air balloon just isn’t going to fly.” “Dude, that’s a bike with a blanket on it.” “My best efforts.”

Dad would you like to save some money? I certainly would son. Any suggestions? Sure. Why not buy me a bike then I won’t wear my shoes out so fast.

My company moved offices and wanted to transfer my job to northern Canada But I was having nunavut.

There’s so many political jokes on r/Jokes, I could build a wall out of them!

Men do what they want and skip the rest. They’re straightforward. If he doesn’t call, he doesn’t want to talk. If he calls, he’s horny.

*Stands guard with scissors and tinsel* Wait, you said “wrap battle”, right?

Michael Jackson, Elvis Presley, Elizabeth Taylor, Bob Marley, Marilyn Monroe, “Venison’s dear isn’t it?”, John Lennon, Albert Einstein, Bruce Lee, Steve McQueen, James Dean Pun intended

I told my son about the birds and the bees. He then told me about the postman and my wife.

What do you call a lazy crocodile? A procrastigator (I’m trash)

Never Fall in love with a Heroin addict because even though they have a lot of love to give. It’s all in Vein