Two guys walk in to a Bar First Guy orders an H2O. The Other Guy orders H2O too. The Other Guy dies.

What’s the most awkward U.S state? O….Hi!…..o…..

There’s a black guy in my family tree… He’s hanging in the backyard.

I don’t know why everyone is suddenly talking about Twerking… My mate from Yorkshire has been doing it for years. As he says, it’s how he gets t’money t’pay t’bills.

Restaurant Hostess: “Sorry about the wait.” Me: “It’s okay, you don’t need to apologize for being overweight.”

How do you start a rave in Ethiopia? You staple food to the ceiling.

Doctor Doctor When I press with my finger here… it hurts and here… it hurts and here… and here… What do you think is wrong with me? You have a broken finger!

I always found the movie “The Exorcist” confusing… It made my head spin.

Did you know a man gets run over by a car in New York City every five minutes? Whoa, he should really get out of the road!

The problem with money is too much of it belongs to people who aren’t me.