What is a cow’s favourite TV show ? Dr Moo !

Why did the chicken? Q: Why did the chicken cross the road naked? A: Because chickens don’t wear clothes.

TIFU by ordering the wrong sandwhich at subway… Whoops, wrong sub.

Halfway through V for Vendetta… …still waiting for Natalie Portman to evolve into Vaporeon.

My professor really snapped yesterday, went all crazy on the blackboard during math lecture He really did a number on it. Its days are numbered now. Edit: grammar

[phone] WIFE: Where the hell are u? ME: Well…u know that shop where u saw that ring you love W: OMG YES M: I’m catching Pokemon near there

What’s the best way to wipe a computer server? A cloth.

Wives are like hurricanes They’re wet and wild to begin with, but when they leave they take everything

Are your other donkeys jealous because that’s one fine ass

johnny depp looks like the person who does hair and make up for johnny depp