What do you call a constipated German? *Farfrompoopin*

How many NRA spokesmen does it take to change a lightbulb? MORE GUNS!!!

Why is the part of a woman between her hips and her breasts called a waist? Because they could’ve easily fit another pair of tits in there.

Porn Hub has pledged to plant a new tree for every hundred videos viewed on its site. The amount of tissue paper I get through, I’m still not sure that’s environmentally sustainable.

Jews are so insecure… they constantly remind us their country isreal.

On The Walking Dead, Glenn said “I will find you.” I guess he’s gonna keep an eye out for her.

What do you say to a midget that is a hooker? You must be this tall to ride.

I am the ghost of Christmas Future Perfect Subjunctive: I will show you what would have happened were you not to have changed your ways!

Poop When you say the word “poop” you mouth makes the same motion as your butt hole when you poop. Sam with diarrhea.

This joke is funny only today. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Open. Open who? Open SSL.