“Always a housewife, never a house,” the shed sighs as she’s installed next to a mansion. No one was ever going to call her “home”…

Nothing’s more infuriating than opening the in-flight magazine to see the Sudokus already half-done, in the colors of your rival Sudoku gang

If Donald Trump can become President, you can do anything! Unless you’re Mexican, Muslim, Black, Chinese, to be honest any type of immigrant…. What am I saying, we’re all fucked

Why don’t you want to take a Pokemon into the bathroom? Because it might Pikachu.

According to my Nike fuel band I masturbated 5 miles today.

“I’m into homosexual necrophilia.” …Tom said, in dead earnest.

What do we want? Time travel! When do we want it? Irrelevant!

Apple Released A Pack of Playing Cards that Only has 48 Cards They removed all the Jacks

I need a full wifi description before I can even consider coming to your home

Here’s a bit of advice. Advi