When is a door not a door? When it’s ajar.

Long distance relationships almost never work out.. Because for example: The distance from Dallas TX to Chicago IL is 967.2 mi. The average penis size is 4 inches.

“Hi, I’m Justin Timberlake.” *notices that he’s actually a large body of salt water, not fresh water* “Nice try, Mr. Timberocean.”

How did Caitlyn Jenner and Kanye West settle an argument? They went outside and exchanged blows.

What did one saggy boob say to the other? We better perk up or somebody is going to think were nuts.

so a cheetah and a lion decide to have a race The cheetah wins and the lion says “you’re a Cheetah” the Cheetah says ‘nah you’re Lion’

The Guyz l Shadowrun Returns l Razor Edge ep 3 l HE’S STILL THERE Hi, I’m Karmit, and I play video games…yeah… Well that’s all I can really say. Just want to advertise stuff so…yeah…america…

What’s red and orange and looks good on hippies…. Fire.

Knock knock Who’s there? Dewt dew de dew dew Dewt dew do dew dew who? Menah Menah

My Father Was An Artist My father was an artist. He had an *amazing* stroke. That’s how he died…..