When taking the SAT, write “Chuck Norris” for every answer. You will score over 8000.

Call me crazy but “dropping the ball” does not sound like a good way to start off a new year.

What was the atmosphere like in the silent wooden part of a hospital? It was an oakward experience.

What’s the difference between a plastic tube and an adjustable spanner ? Both of em are in plastic, except for the adjustable spanner

What does a 80 yr old woman taste like? Depends.

What’s the difference between a Jew and a canoe? Canoes tip.

What is a pair of sheep’s favorite instrument? Two-Baaas.

My doctor said I needed to reduce stress. Great, now I have that to worry about.

I hear Internet Explorer 10 is going to allow you to download & install Firefox up to three times faster.

What’s the difference between onions and your mother-in-law? You don’t cry when chopping your mother-in-law.