Does the 5-second rule still apply in the Men’s bathroom at Target? I’m pretty commited to this pretzel, if it matters.

Donald Trump’s Best Friend Donald Trump was talking about his best friend, “Eugene Wall.” He said that he liked to call him “Euge” for short.

What do you call a woman who loves small dicks? Hopefully your girlfriend

A proud German from Frankfurt was so pissed off when he traveled to England and people called him a Frankfurter … … he moved to Hamburg.

What is the lifespan of an owl? 6 1/2 books.

[Witness Protection Program] So the more ordinary, mundane your new name is, the easier it’ll be to blend into your new- BUBBLENUTS McFUNKY!

First person: Do you know how to save five lawyers who are drowning? Second person: No. First person: Good!

How do you fit 100 dead babies in a barrel? with a blender. How do you get them out? With a straw.

“So you are suffering from flatulences, grandpa?” “Suffering? No, that’s my last remaining pleasure!”

Today is Short Girl Appreciation Day… (NSFW) and I don’t get it. I appreciate short girls every day; sometimes twice!