my favourite position is 68 you do me, and i’ll owe you one.

*Geography Bee* Judge: “Tell me about Yemen.” Me: “Chandler said he was moving there when he couldn’t breakup with Janice on Friends.”

Do they make a Rosetta Stone for women’s moods yet?

What do you call a bee with a toe? “Toby”

I have a lot of road rage. FUCK ROADS!!!

An american walks into InternetIsBeautiful. [Removed because he isn’t an interactive solar system map]

Why did the doctor lose his job? He lost his patience

What is small, dark, and knocking at the door? The future

Chuck Norris’s body temperature is 98.6 degrees…… Celsius.

With all the conflicts in the world, the board game Risk has taught me the first thing we should do is invade Australia.