What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an octopus? I don’t know, but it sure can pick strawberries.

I had a friend who thoroughly hated music… He left no tone unspurned.

An Italian classics professor… …goes to a tailor to get his trousers mended. The tailor asks: “Euripides?” The professor replies: “Yes. Eumenides?”

Why does Santa come only once a year? (Its not the chimney one) Because it’s all his sack can handle

Laughing at your mistakes could lengthen your life. Laughing at your spouse’s mistakes WILL shorten it…

Sleep tight! And if you should die before you wake — did you clear your browser history?

What’s black and hard? Cast iron.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

My initial goal is to get really, really fat and be a contestant on The Biggest Loser.

It’s weird that on this date in Back to the Future they didn’t show people incessantly posting about Back to the Future.