People Don’t even say grace before meals anymore . They just Hold up Their Phones over the Plate , snap a Pic , & Post it on Instagram

A third zebra strolls casually while whistling and pretending to read a newspaper onto Noah’s ark.

What do you call an egg that cures cancer? A keurig. Joke written by my 9 year old son.

So i just started a coffee shop in baghdad… …and business is BOOMING!!

I’m sexually attracted to one of my students I knew that becoming a primary school teacher was a bad career choice

HIPSTER COP: *into radio* “We’ve got a 13-88 in progress…it’s a pretty rare crime, you probably wouldn’t know it”

What would you rather be stamped on by a herd of elephants or an angry woman in high heels… At least the elephants you could reason with

What doesn’t kill you, tries again.

What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex will make your day, but anal sex will make your hole weak.

Halloween costume… Guy 1 at Halloween party: Hey look, Steve’s wife dressed up like Wonder Woman. Guy 2 at Halloween party: Yeah, it makes you wonder if she’s a woman.