My girlfriend’s accused me of cheating with a girl from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch. How can she say that?!?!

Q: What do you call it when a blonde gets taken over by a demon? A: A vacant posession.

What do you call a dizzy Asian? Disoriented.

I have what CNN is calling ‘snow fatigue’ symptoms include: Being tired of winter A sudden desire for spring Thoughts of murderous rage

yeah i like going to the gym. if by gym you mean beer and Netflix. 20 billion RTs 1 trillion favs, rted by the official white house twitter

what if in airbud they put the dog in and they didnt win that coach would feel stupid

If the people that drink it are any indication, Diet Coke does not work.

The Walking Dead Even in the apocalypse black guys end up behind bars!

My Grandfather had the heart of a Lion and a lifetime BAN from the city Zoo.

Date: Cat-callers disgust me. Me: [hastily returning phone to pocket] Oh haha yeah me too. My cat: *at home by the phone worried sick*