two bears walk into a bar no one survived.

i hope jessica biel names her first child ‘batmo”

Two blondes were walking on either side of the railway track Jokes apart

I wonder how many people die each year as a result of lifeguards running in slow motion.

An Irish guy walks into a bar… A few hours later he goes home and beats his wife into a coma.

Why did the tomato blush when it saw the salad dressing? It was embarrassed.

There is a new Barbie doll on the market – FrankenBarbie …comes with bolts through her neck

Two yogurts are sitting on a shelf… One yogurt starts talking about art, so the other turns and says, “wow, you sure are cultured.”

PSA: Don’t forget to set your cocks black this weekend

What do you call a wanker on a plane? a Highjacker