How do you separate two blind people fighting? You just simply shout: “I’m supporting the one with the knife!”

My friend learned today that his effeminate kid’s favourite song comes from Annie. I’m not sure, but if I had to guess, The Son’ll Come Out Tomorrow.

Did you hear about the angry pancake? He just flipped.

Bound by notifications, we are the Fellowship of the Ding.

How many Dallas Cowboys fans does it take to change a lightbulb? They don’t. They just talk about when it did work.

The girl I met last week said she wanted a guy who was “funny and spontaneous” I showed up at her kitchen window late at night wearing a clown suit and suddenly it’s all panic and screaming…

I hate it when people make fun of the disabled They can’t even stand up for themselves

I was going to make a joke about UDP… …but I’m not sure if you will get it!

What do you call a pirate who is all out of reales(Silver coins)? Long Gone Silver… /drops mic

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other COCK!