How was the red sea made? Over a very long period

Just remember …if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.

My black friend was told he couldn’t run in the boston marathon Bunch of racists.

“I just can’t control myself around you” – Me talking to a homemade batch of cookies

shops have changed so much. In my day you could go in with a pound and get a bag of crisp and a magazazine now days they have cameras

The replacement refs pulled a @KimKardashian last night (screwed 53 rich black guys at the same time).

I can tell by the way you give me instructions that you’ve dealt with a lot of dumb people before me.

There once was a man from Nantucket… who didn’t know what a limerick was.

I am a feminist. Unless you tell me to go and bring you a sandwich. I’m also a waitress.

I thought about going to a psychic, but then I started having doubts and changed my mind At that moment I received a text message that said “Well, that’s too bad”