What’s the most popular game to play in jail? Smash Brothers

Why did the tractor trailer mechanic always have half an erection? Because he was constantly nursing a semi.

How long does it take for a baby to explode in the microwave? I dont know, I close my eyes when I masturbate

Do you believe in abortion? Girl: Dad, do you believe in abortion? Father: Ask your sister. Girl: I don’t have a sister… Father: Exactly.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Why was the ocean always sad? Because the beach never waved back.

[At urinal maker store] Urinal maker: Let’s make some of them curved so the pee splashes on their legs LOL. Other urinal maker: K. LOL

What did the 8 say to infinity? Come on man, get up!

Friends and lovers may come and go but allergies are forever.

It’s Thanksgiving, who doesn’t like Turkey? Russia