Damn girl, did u just fall from heaven? Cause you are looking like the next Satan.

My love for you is like diarrhea I just can’t hold it in

I asked my mom if I was pretty or ugly She said both, Im pretty ugly.

THIS JUST IN: Hooters seeks extra support due to unprecedented sagging. So yeah, Hooters is for sale.

How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? It’s a really obscure number, you’ve probably never heard of it.

Scientists found there may not be as many benefits to flossing as we thought. Guess none of them have ever been to a party with spinach dip.

Have you seen www.blottingpaper.com? Yes I found it very absorbing.

When it comes to volunteering on my gynecology residency, I’m the first to put my hand up.

Hillary Clinton is elected President. JK.

Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind it is too cheesy.