“I think this cereal has gone bad.” *me drunk, eating Meow Mix*

What’s an Islamic extremist’s favorite baseball team? The new york Jets

What’s the hardest thing about having a colostomy bag? Finding shoes to go with it.

What does Batman get in his drink? Just Ice

What do you see when a Native American Princess pokes a space smuggler in the chest? Pocahontas pokin’ Hans tits

Me: Let’s try it have a nice weekend without any fighting, ok? Hub: Agreed Me: Wait, where are you going? Hub: Fishing. See you Monday

Him: Damn, girl, are you a math textbook? Her: No, why? Him: ‘Cause you have a lot of fuckin’ problems.

How to get out of buying your kids Christmas presents Explain to them that due to Global Warming that the North Pole melted and that Santa and the Reindeer drowned.

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Don’t be stupid, feminists can’t change anything.

Xbox and PlayStation get into a fight. Call the ambulance. Wii U Wii U Wii U.