What do you call an African-American baby that has tragically died and now has it’s wings ? A bat.

Why did the left alt key and the right alt key break up? They needed some space.

My friend David recently lost his ID. Now we just call him dav.

Cereal, you need milk more than milk needs you. Just being real.

A girl phoned me the other day and said “Come on over, there’s nobody home.” I went over. Nobody was home.

What is Oscar Pistorius’s new favourite band? Bullets For My Valentine

What Star Wars character is most likely to get cancer? Leukemia Skywalker.

What my girlfriend thought, first 4 dates: 1. Nice shirt. 2. Wow. A second nice shirt. 3. Okay, first shirt again. 4. He has two shirts.

Why are quantum physicists bad lovers? When they find the position, they can’t find the momentum. When they find the momentum, they can’t find the position.

Why should you tell bad jokes to cocaine addicts? Because they’ll crack up anyways