jokes what do you call a bunch of people whove been in horrible accidents in a swimming pool vegatable soup

How many men escaped the destruction of Sodom? A Lot.

Did you hear Uber and Lyft are merging? They’re rebranding as “Luber: For when you need to come fast!”

I hate the phrase “let me clarify” because it means someone is about to talk some more.

A few redditors wake up in hell. A few less reposts.

All women really want is to be treated like you treat your iPhone.

What do you call two ants that run away to get married? Antelopes

Mummy Monster: What are you doing with that saw and where’s your little brother ? Young Monster: Hee hee ! He’s my half-brother now!

Me: Can I have a quickie? Waitress: Sir, it’s pronounced “quiche”.

I’m for driverless cars but honestly having to drive is the only thing standing in the way of me being a complete drunk piece of shit 24/7