Speaking of lent some of you mofos owe me money

A brunette tells her blonde friend that she can finally say that she’s slept with a Brazilian. The blonde looks shocked and says, “OMG, how many is a Brazilian???

Every year there’s a teacher I hate. The past three years it’s been my 10th grade teacher.

Last night I went to a comedy and philosophy convention. Laughed more than I thought.

I take pictures of my weed because they say the camera adds 10 pounds.

Knock knock Who’s there Olivia Olivia who? Olivia, so let me in my bloody house!

it’s been 12 years since Shrek came out, I still can’t get over the fact that Donkey had sex with a dragon..

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 the headphone jack

I told my friend a joke about last night’s Game of Thrones episode.. He agreed it was well done.

Why do Australians take forever to play chess? Because they never make it past the first check, mate.