The fact that there’s a highway to hell and only a stairway to heaven says a lot about the expected traffic load.

Every time I wear a suit I hear the same five words. “Will the defendants please rise”

A man walks into a bar, he is an alcoholic and is ruining his family.

How many black men does it take to screw in a light-bulb? Just 1 because we are all equal and race has no impact.

Why do pigs love Halloween? There’s lots of hogsgobblin.

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive then you should try swimming with sharks. Cost me an arm and a leg.

Q: What’s the difference between Bill Clinton and David Koresh? A: Koresh only burned 85 people.

A man tried to keep two crows illegally as pets! He was arrested for attempted murder.

Guy gets wife roses. She says “I guess this means you want me on my back w my legs in the air?” He says, “Why, we don’t have a Vase?

[Job interview] “Can you explain this gap in your resume?” Me: “I fell asleep on the space key.”