What is the strongest bird ? A crane !

What’s heavier, a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers? A ton of feathers. Because you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.

What do you call an inflatable dad? Pops.

What is a dentist’s favorite time of the day? 2:30

What does a bowl of spaghetti and a degree from Phoenix online both have in common? If it ends up on your wall you’re probably retarded.

What do you call a musician without a girlfriend? Homeless

Why would anyone ever want to fly Virgin Airlines? The last thing you want to do is get on a plane that doesn’t go all the way.

No one laughed at my joke I wrote on the wall of the toilet stall… I guess I need to work on my toilet humor.

Whenever my girlfriend and I share a meal, I let her have the first bite because I’m a gentleman. Also, to see if it’s been poisoned.

What do my tastes in food and pornography have in common? I prefer the kind with fruits and vegetables.