What do you call a women with two brain cells? Pregnant.

Today I was on Crimea St It was flooded.

What do you call a magic owl? Hoo-dini!

Getting friends with benefits is easy If you hang around the welfare centre long enough you’re sure to meet a few nice people.

I came. I shaw. I shanked.

How many mathematicians does it take to screw in zero lightbulbs? Indeterminate

what is common between a pregnant woman and a burned pizza ?? someone forgot to pull it out

Haven’t worn a watch in 20+ years. Coincidentally, I haven’t poured my drink on the floor when asked for the time in 20+ years.

What’s your emergency? Boy: *calls 911* Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what’s your emergency? Boy: The ugly one is winning.

Q: What is a four-letter word that ends in ‘k’ and means the same as intercourse? A: Talk