Where did the Japanese watch their movies in WWII The Pacific Theatre

[spiders pour into room] THEYRE EVERYWHERE [group of tap dancers enter] ALRIGHT MEN THIS IS WHAT WEVE TRAINED FOR

Why did the auditor cross the road? Because he looked in the file and that’s what they did last year.

[Cretaceous Period] T-REX: *eating pterodactyl, sad* I just wish it were meatier… DRUNK GUARDIAN ANGEL: A meteor? Tha’s weird but ok 1 sec

What do you call a 20 year old spaceship that whines all the time and never wants to run properly? The Millenial Falcon.

Q. What did the salt say to the pepper? A. Hey Baby what’s SHAKING!

What do lawyers wear to court? Law suits.

How does a French woman hold her liquor? By the ears.

I’d like to die like my grandfather, who passed away while sleeping Not like his four passengers…

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