When I was little I told my mom, “when I grow up I want to be a magician.” … She said to me, “you can’t do both!”

An Electric Field Walks up to a Dipole and asks, “Do you have a moment?”

I was researching the Jackson family tree. I got back as far as the civil war and then I hit a stone wall.

Part of me says, “I can’t keep drinking like this.” While another says “Don’t listen to her, she’s drunk.”

Did you hear about the guy who illegally downloaded Free Fallin’ and Refugee? He was charged with Petty theft.

I asked my dad what our IP Address was… He just pointed at the toilet.

Why couldn’t the psychic fit in the small shirt? Because he was a medium

The NFL has hired their first female referee. She will throw the flag for penalties the team committed 5 years ago.

It’s always a little disconcerting how before you trust them with your life every airline checks you in using computers running Windows 95.

Sheryl Sandberg’s husband died while exercising on a treadmill. He was trying to get his Lean In.