How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick

Trying not to take my dog’s sighing personally.

Yo mama head so small she use a tea-bag as a pillow.

Baby monitors are magical When I turn it off my baby stops crying

Fact: Canadians are legally allowed to be late for work once a week for ‘reindeer related delays.’

What do you call a statue holding some Mouthwash? A gargoyle!

What 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang rape

How does Moses get his tea ready? Hebrews

Dark jokes are like Malaysian Airlines flights They’re either hit or miss.

Ultimate joke formula Q: What did (x) say to (x)? A: (Rude slang) Examples: What did the catterpillar say to the leaf? ;3 “F*** you”