What’s the common thing between Mercedes and iphone 6? Mercedes Benz…

Why did the family not laugh at the Obstetrician’s joke? … Because he screwed up the delivery…

When I said “I was afraid of the dentist”, I meant the bill.

How do you get a fat girl into bed with you? A piece of cake

Father: What did the teacher think of your idea? Son: She took it like a lamb Teacher: Really? what did she say? Son: Baa!

How do color blind people see porn? In fifty shades of gray

Ugh. Do I really need to register to your website to leave a comment? I just need to disagree with this asshole real quick.

What do you get when you inject human DNA into a sheep? Banned from the petting zoo.

Tanning Blondes Two blondes walk into a tanning salon. The receptionist asks Are you two sisters? They laughed and replied, No we’re not even Catholic.

So I was playing terraria and I got killed by an eater of souls… Damn gingers