Lady, you misunderstood. When I asked if you would have my kids I didn’t mean sex and babies. I meant take the ones I already have.

How does Harry Potter get down a hill?…..He walks Jk Rowling

Binoculars have to be the worst gift you can buy for a cyclops.

Bon Jovi published a diet book It’s called “Living on a Pear”

What do you call an invisible mom that got a sex change? Transparent

I once swore in an elevator. It was wrong on so many levels.

What’s the best part about having sex with a transvestite? Reaching around the front and pretending your dick went all the way through.

What do you call a deaf gynecologist? A lip reader.

How many people in Brazil shave? A Brazilian.

What did the earthquake say to the tornado? It’s not my fault.