What type of underwear does a fetus wear? Fruit of the womb.

Charles Dickens’ book on wine making, Grape Expectations.

Did you hear about the Polish assassin that blew up cars for a living? He burns his lips on the tail pipes.

My wife told me to give her 12″ and make her scream… So I did her 3 times in the poop chute and wiped my junk on the curtain. (can’t remember where I stole this from)

Did you hear about the Mexican train robber He had Loco motives

[nsfw] why do Jewish women prefer circumcised men? They’ll take anything that’s 30% off

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van.

How do you make a plumber cry? murder his family.

My finger just touched a public toilet seat. I don’t want to be all dramatic about it so I’ll just say goodbye forever.

Why couldn’t the troll catch any fish? Because other people took the bait.