Q: What do Clinton and JFK have in common? A: They haven’t had any brains for the last thirty years.

Who won the first Tour de France? The Panzer SS 1st Division

I hate it when I think I’m buying ORGANIC vegetables but when I get home I discover they’re just REGULAR donuts.

What do you call gay Jewish people? REAL FRUIT JEWS xD

Oscars night, Leonardo DiCaprio walks to the stage… Steve Harvey follows suit…

What’s the best way to kill a bug? Just bug him to death.

Pokemon go should contact Hillary Clinton. I hear she has some servers

Q: Why are bison such good musicians? A: They have fantastic horns.

Sometimes I use big words I don’t understand to make myself look more photosynthesis

milk duds: when you want some candy but also crave a dislocated jaw