Poor Pascal… he gets no girls at all… but at least his name is the SI derived unit of pressure used to quantify internal pressure, stress, … Coincidence?

What do call a disgraceful Asian Nothing they’re not your child anymore

Difference between a 4 year old and a nightclub? I don’t need a bottle of lube to get into a nightclub.

[me as a magician] *pulls rabbit from hat* AUDIENCE: ooOoOo *pulls knife from hat* A: ooOoOo *pulls sautee pan from hat* A: NNOOOOOO

What do you call an April Fool’s!

A joke from a substitute German teacher (who was later fired) What’s the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? -Refrigerator doesn’t fart when you take the meat out of it.

Dad do you like baked apples? Yes son why? The orchard’s on fire.

COME TO ME JOURNALBOT *Journalbot enters my study* ok write this down: Polar bears are bear ghosts. “polargeists” [very sad robot noises]

Hear about the oriental tailor that got arrested for being too arrogant with his customers? He was always feeling cocky.

So i recently came over my ex… Hit her right in the eye! Sorry.