To watch a reality show about a restaurant is to realize how much chef’s head-sweat you’ve eaten in your life.

What do Bill Cosby and Santa Claus have in common? They both come while you’re sleeping

what is a ghosts favorite lunch meat? Boo-loney 😀

Beefy right wing joke The maniacal right wing, cow-worshipping saffron brigade in India…is it true they never hold a beef against someone?

I’m German and Jewish. I hate myself

Man, speaking (in heavy Scottish accent) to policeman, “But, officer, it said laddies on the door.”

Where did the terrorist go after the explosion? Everywhere..

what did the depressed monkey say when his tail went through the lawnmower? It won’t be long now…

People who pronounce didn’t as.”dih-in’t” please doh-on’t.

When someone asks me where I see myself in 5 years… I dunno…I don’t have 2020 vision.