What do you call a wall st. executive that sucks at his job and is obsessed with his ex girlfriend? A broke stalker!

What’s /r/blackpeopletwitter’s favourite charity? ox-fam

You say illegal, I say added to my bucket list.

The worst thing about doggie style is you can both see your kid come into the room.

I NEED A JOKE! I DONT KNOW IF THIS IS THE RIGHT SUBJECT BUT I REALLY NEED A JOKE THAT INCLUDES -a farmers field -a pack of dogs -burning house -a hospital -set in the nighttime Thanks so much

I wish I lived in the 1950’s, because I have a few songs I want to record about my postman.

ANCHOR: Now over to Mike for the weather. ME: IT’S REALLY WEATHERY RIGHT NOW, CARL, WITH MORE WEATHER TO COME! THAT’S IT FOR THE WEATHER!

I was dating a radiologist… but it didn’t work out: she could see right though me.

Man walks into a bar… …with a piece of tarmac under his arm, says to the barman ‘give us a pint and one for the road…’

What did the cheese say to itself in the in the mirror? halloumi